Cowboys & Aliens

"I need to know where you came from." "So do I"
Running time: 118mins (1hour58mins)

I'm sure that hat looks familiar...

After Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls you may have thought our beloved Dr Jones series had suffered the sanguine shade of embarrassment for long enough. Think again.

Meet Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig), an amnesia struck cowboy from 1873 Arizona. Other than a large, metallic bracelet on his arm, Jake has no clues to his identity and how he ended up in the middle of the unforgiving desert. Arriving in a nearby town it's clear that he is not welcome in the once affluent area, that's now dominated by stern businessman Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) and his trouble making, reckless son Percy (Paul Dano).

It's not long before a fleet of four alien ships, similar looking to the Star Wars X-Fighter , indiscriminately abduct several of the town's men and women. Jake discovers that the bracelet on his wrist is in fact a weapon capable of shooting down the enemy aircraft, unlike the traditional Western world guns.

Dolarhyde senior and Jake team up to pursue ships and rescue their friends and family from the clutches of the unearthly kidnappers. Along with an attractive female who seems intent on helping to uncover the lost fragmented memories from his elusive past.

Enter Trailer:

One problem - the several deja vu moments from Indiana Jones. Beneath the chiseled heroic bones of this film is a deep love story, a romance of no ordinary nature. Our protagonist quickly finds himself inseparable from his bronze skinned beauty, whose slender yet curvy body ensured she would not be forgotten in a long time. Alas, our mystery lover is not Alice (Abigail Spencer) but his trustee hat. In several sticky situations Jake makes sure his hat is where it belongs - his head. Dropped in the water, where's the hat? Jumping from an explosion, don't forget the hat. In one moment our hat adoring heroes, Harrison Ford and the new, Daniel Craig shaped, Indy, leap to from an exploding chasm, but new Indy's hat falls off yet Ford's stays perfectly perched. Rubbing the salt in the wound a little bit?  

All in all, an enjoyable watch - not something to set the world alight but worth a view for the great solo performances from Craig, Ford and rising child actor Noah Ringer.

Rating:          Impressionante

Luther: Series 2: Finale Teaser

The clock counts down to the finale of Luther series 2, and to exacerbate the excitement our dearest BBC have kindly dropped another teaser trailer upon us. With a dead body and the blood splatter killer together in one flat/crime scene, Luther must conceal the misdeed not only to protect Jenny but himself from Toby's grandmother, Bubba; not forgetting the mass murdering twin (? - that's my guess anyway) on the loose! Our wrong side of the law cop will have to perform a miracle if he plans to save everyone, or maybe Bernard's Watch...

1 hour 50 minutes left

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: TEASER Trailers

The bespectacled boy from beneath the staircase of 4 Privet Drive, the loyal sanguine-haired companion and the muggle-born girl named 'the brightest witch of [her] age'. Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe), Ronald Weasley (Rupert Grint) and Hermione Granger (Emma Watson), the trio we have grown up alongside and have become a fond, irreplaceable part of millions' childhood and many adults' secret indulgence.

The final film of our beloved series is the most anticipated film of Summer 2011 - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two.

From the moment Harry received a barrage of letters with emerald-green lettering right through to the Horcrux hunt in order to kill  He who must not be named  VOLDEMORT; we have been there every step of the way, innocent bystanders watching in awe as the magical creation of J.K.Rowling unfolds.

The time for adolescent angst is over; having escaped the clutches of Lord Voldemort and temporarily defeated throughout the saga it's now time for the trio to rid the world of treacherous Tom Riddle once and for all. 



At a first glimpse there are some additional scenes added to the trailers that I certainly do not remember appearing in the pages of the seventh installment of the Potter series. Such as Harry uttering: "Come on Tom let's finish this the way we started it... together," before grabbing Voldemort and hurling himself from a great height - but hey, who am I to argue with artistic license?

To counteract this unfounded scene there are a lot of exhilerating others including Molly Weasley vs Bellatrix Lestrange (I want to stay impartial, but GO TEAM MOLLY), a high-speed cart chase through Gringotts, and countless others.   
 
To whet your appetite for the battle to end all battles, here are two of best trailers currently online. Go on, you know you want to...

Enter: Trailer Un



Enter: Trailer Deux

Luther: Series 2: Episode 4 Teaser

Episode 4 - Teaser

With Toby Kent's sanguine body lying dead on his kitchen floor, a knife standing from his back, and distraught, blood-speckled Jenny Jones nearby reeling in shock things couldn't really get much worse for Luther.

With the supposed mass-murderer in custody, and the final few minutes of Episode 3 showing a doppelganger, if not identical twin brother, of the unknown Aryan looking, imprisoned man, about to commit mass genocide, at bustling Liverpool Street Station after rolling the die of destiny; there are many unanswered questions for this presumed finale to the series (note on BBC iPlayer this series has been titled Luther X/4).

So without further deliberation, I present to you the teaser trailer to Episode 4 of Luther Series 2:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfjhR3yQjqs

Luther: Series 2: Episode 3 Review

Episode 3 - Don't you wish they gave titles to the episodes? I surely do!

 This week, John Luther is in pursuit of a mass killer who bases his decision of how many people to kill or seriously injure upon the roll of a die; at the same time as carrying out tasks required by Toby Kent, a psychopath who acquires money and sexual gratification through necro-porno.

With the newly found responsibility of Jenny Jones upon his shoulders, one of Toby's victims, Luther tries to turn her life around by offering her refuge and encourages her to find work, in order to prevent her from returning to her previous macabre profession, which would inevitably end in her death.

Trapped in the choke-hold of Toby, after stealing Jenny away from his sex trade, our protagonist treads a fine line trying to obtain the illegal information required whilst leaving nothing that will trail back to him; alongside tracking down and stopping a homicidal maniac before he strikes again, and we think our lives are incomparably busy...

With his deeply suspicious team partner DCI Erin Gray watching his every move can Luther uphold his end of the sordid bargain with Toby and will the team manage to apprehend the villain in just 57-minutes of screen time (excluding the recap, opening and closing credits)? Well I think we can all guess the answer to that, but tune in, find out for yourself... 
 
Watch in either HD or normal quality (click this hyperlink) - (please note: this is video, unless otherwise suggested, will only available until GMT: 8:59pm on Tuesday 6th July 2011)

Verdict
Now before any smart arse butts-in to remind me that this blog was initially dedicated to films, I know this is a television show, however I feel it's worth watching and possibly one of the best things of the old soap box right now - a TV show you should be watching.

It's an extremely unusual circumstance in which I find myself, enclosed in a box of nostalgia, all just from a programme, Luther reincarnates a previous Josh that was presumed lost and dead. Meet 11-year-old me, petrified of the horror genre despite having an abnormal obsession with vampires as a young boy.  My fear so intense that after managing to find a copy of Scream hidden away in my parent's room, I had day-and-nightmares for weeks - midnight dashes to and from the toilet, hiding beneath the covers whenever hearing a noise and being terrified of being left alone in the house shortly ensued for the following weeks.

I cannot explain how incredibly brilliant a series Luther is, currently bar the odd reality TV show - which I mainly tune in for because they are so hilariously scandalous, take The Apprentice last week I doubt there are many people who are overly fond of Melody right now, am I right? Idris Elba has undeniably cemented a comfortable future in the world of acting following his portrayal of DCI John Luther, watch it, watch it, watch it... that's all I can say.

If that wasn't enough to convince you check out the trailer for Series 2:

Sucker Punch

"Begin your journey, if you do it will set you free" Charlie Townsend.
 Running time: 110 minutes (1hour50minutes)

 
From the name alone I probably should have deduced that this wasn't going to be a memorable film that would raise the game for the future of 2011; but with a friend, curiosity and four and a half pounds of the queen's coins (actual price after student discount would you believe) burning a hole in my pocket I entered hoping for my suspicions to be far from accurate and to be bewildered by how wrong I had been. Sadly this was not the case.

After being condemned to a mental asylum by her abusive stepfather, Baby Doll (Emily Browning) has five days to escape her captors before an imminent lobotomy. With unrelenting will to break free she convinces and unites the three other institutionalized girls as they plan a way out, dictated by Baby Doll's escapist fantasy-world visions and a mystery wise man (who I rightly renamed Charlie Townsend - Charlie's Angels).

The girls gather the five objects needed for their breakout from the mental institute where they are forced to provocatively dance in order to please their corrupt owner's, Blue Jones (Oscar Isaac), rich clients.

Be prepared for robot samurais, orcs and goblins, and as of course the customary ZOMBIE NAZI or two in manga-styled, fantasy adventure packaging.


Enter: trailer

Before winging a little, I would like to welcome back a couple of the stars appearing in this movie, who for me, have been like the fleeting members of the family that I haven't seen in a little while. First of all Carla Gugino,who for the nineties kids amongst you would remember her as the mother in Spy Kids, this time around plays a mentally-broken Russian choreographer. Secondly Vanessa Hudgens,who is gradually shaking off her glittery High School the Musical prep jacket in-favour of the slightly torn tweed blazer of serious acting, plays the ever eager to escape Blondie. So hey welcome home! 

As my friend rightly pointed out this would be incredible confined to the realms of video-gaming; yet for an audience member it's a bit like sitting on the quaint, peaceful tea-cups ride to suddenly being hoisted up kilometers into the air above your friends, family and dalmatian Sassy (why not), to then fall and land in a fish bowl, having discovered that you've been transformed into an Axolotl. Confused? Wondering what's going on? Think the Axolotl looks just a little like a Pokemon? Mind blown yet? Well then now you understand what it's like inside the near packed, 100 seating cinema screening that you've just paid to enter and gasp in a mixture of horror and bemusement. All I feel is left to say is thank you director Zack Snyder for the beautiful films you lay so kindly before us in the past: 300, Watchmen, Dawn of the Dead... but curse you for this intriguing train-wreck of a film.

Lesson learned today: DO indeed judge a film by its cover.  

For what it's worth, despite this sounding rather conflicting compared with what I've written previously, I would say watch it, if gore and surreal worlds or fantasy are your thing then this may just be the film for you. Think open-minded. 

Rating:          Not a-so bad

The Road

"If there is a god up there he would have turned his back on us by now. Whoever made humanity will find no humanity here. No sir, so beware" Old Man
Running time: 111 minutes (1hour51minutes)

In a post-apocalyptic America in the not so distant future, when humanity has been pushed to the best and worst of its existence; a father (Viggo Mortensen) and his son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) travel south hoping for salvation. With just a trolley of scavenged belongings, the clothes they are wearing and a pistol with two shells, reserved for if the time comes when they can no longer carry on. The road on which they travel is treacherous, prowled by lawless cannibals, forcing the father and son to keep moving south in their unrelenting fight for survival.
 
The chemistry between Viggo Mortensen and Kodi Smit-McPhee is nothing like I have ever seen before, the two are truly something to behold. Viggo holds the story together acting with sentiment and wiseness beyond his years, as demonstrated in Lord of the Rings, he exudes raw emotion in this severely underrated performance. And for an actor of such a young age, thirteen to be precise, Kodi demonstrates great maturity and understanding of the role, I wouldn't be surprised if we will be seeing him again in the near future.

Musically, The Far Road and The Mother distinctly stick out in my mind for being particularly poignant and reminding me of a beckoning call from home, composed and performed by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis.

Enter: trailer

Veteran actor, Robert Duvall, must also be applauded for his portrayal of the destitute 'old man' travelling along the road, whom the pair cautiously approach before determining he is no threat. As well as this, he has one of the greatest lines of the film, displayed with a hyper-linked video of the scene at the top of the page.

A puzzle for some is why Cormac McCarthy unconventionally chose not to give any of the characters a name in The Road. While there are numerous theories as to why this is, I personally believe that in this harrowing tale characters a person's actions communicates who he or she is. Making their names inconsequential and unnecessary, because these people do not need identities, they could be anyone, the everyman/woman characters

"All I know is the child is my warrant, and if he is not the word of God, then God never spoke," man. Turning Cormac McCarthy's beautiful literature must have been no easy task for director John Hillcoat, but it's recreated gloriously. The sets resembles the literary descriptions in the book and despite the story being so far beyond our physical comprehension, there is a genuine sense of reality, unlike other films where it's quite easily to alienate an audience. While I wouldn't say that this is an everyday watch, due to it being a little melancholic, I'd argue it's definitely a must see.

Rating:           Not a-so bad

500 Days of Summer

"Here's something that you wrote last week. Roses are red, violets of blue. Fuck you whore" Tom's boss
Running time: 95 minutes (1hour35mins)

Boy meets girl, they fall for one another, have many babies and the token pet, normally a dog, normally this is what happens in your typical love story. But this is not your average rom-com. After it looks like as if the love of Tom's life has left for good he reflects on his relationship with Summer.

Tom Henson (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a greeting card writer, is deeply dissatisfied with life, convinced that he will never truly be happy until he has found a woman who he can spend the rest of his life with. Summer Finn (Zooey Deschanel) doesn't believe in true love or relationships, and has just moved to the same company. As soon as Tom first notices Summer hes knows that she is the one woman for him, they fall into a situation where they are more than friends yet not a relationship.

United by their worshipping of The Smiths (the magic of Morrissey continues), Summer and Tom epitomize idealistic young love, from casual browsing vinyls at a record store, to a scene in IKEA which I imagine has been recreated by crockery and bedroom furniture hunting couples everywhere.

An uplifting track by Daryl Hall & John Oates (yes, the 80s was a unusual time for hair) also features as Tom, who is overjoyed from his night of passion with Summer, travels to work accompanied by his acquired army of musical enthusiasts.

The scene in question, will either make you want to cringe in disgust OR join in the melodic 'child who eat too had too many e-numbers' dance. For me I guiltily admit that it was indeed the latter.  


Enter: Trailer 

 

Yet again, it's another gem from the Sundance festival (perhaps this is developing into a bit of an obsession), but from it the actors have gone on to climb the acting ladder, with Tom's sister (Chloe Moretz) who acts as the voice of reason taking a lead female role in Kick-Ass and Joseph Gordon-Levitt featuring in Inception.

A soundtrack can quite often make or break a film. And in the case of 500 Days of Summer the music definitely reiterates how great the film is, allowing to ascend into the heavenly DVD rack in the sky saved only for the best films. 

Doves, Feist, Mumm-Ra, Regina Spektor, Temper Trap, and more, also not forgetting The Smiths of course, all of whom are undeniably great and perfect Summer-time music. Careful considered tracks captures the mood and enhances the emotions portrayed on screen. Kudos.

I personally believe that Marc Webb (director) has created a emotional masterpiece. The film has the capability of uplifting and overwhelming you with how wonderful life is to leaving you with tears trickling down your cheek. This is one of those films that you will watch over and over again. Unfortunately I don't think I can ever do this film justice in words, hopefully I've intrigued you enough to watch it, as it really is one of those cases where you have to 'see it to believe it'.

Rating:          Fantastico

A Complete History of My Sexual Failures

"Basically you were the worst boyfriend I have ever had," 'Rachel', A Complete History of My Sexual Failures
Running time: 90 minutes (1hour30mins)

Before I'm accused of 'searching the internet with an ulterior motive and accidentally stumbling upon this film', you are absolutely correct. Of course I'm joking (I hope), but even mentioning the title of this documentary is enough to raise an eyebrow or two.

Chris Waitt a supposed independent filmmaker, more accurately defined as a lazy swine attempts to track down and interview all of his ex-girlfriends to try and reform himself for future relationships. Unaware of both his emotional and sexual shortcomings Chris takes on a turbulent, revealing journey as he hopelessly tries to resolve his relationship-problems in a darkly-amusing manner.

Treating every matter with utter levity, it's soon noticeable that Chris may not be as perfect as he believes as he undergoes mildly painful interviews with previous partners, who deliver bluntly honest answers without any restriction.

But on a lighter side, it has a rather humorous song about erectile dysfunction which is worth a listen.


Enter: Trailer

While at first you may absolutely despise Chris who to many seems more of a deluded weasel rather than a human being, who bares a resemblance to Kurt Cobain, by the end you grow to find him quite funny, possibly even lovable, and will most likely watch it for a second-time.

Since watching this film I have felt the need to spread the word about it. How can you go wrong with a film that has a date with a dominatrix in an S&M dungeon and a drunken overdose on Viagra which leads him to stagger the streets people to have sex with him? Yep, I knew that bit would grab your attention.

While it's true that a few of the scenes leave you questioning how much of the film is reality and how much is cinematic exaggeration. While it may not be most high budget of films, you have to give credit to Chris Waitt's Sundance Film Festival entree just for his shear bravery, or cheek. I can't imagine many people would be as willing to talk as openly about previous relationships, let alone make a film about them. 

Rating:          Not a-so bad

Donnie Darko

"I can do anything I want and so can you," Frank, Donnie Darko.
Running time: 123 minutes (1hour53mins)

We all have a destiny, a purpose for our existence. Donnie Darko (Jake Gyllenhaal) discovers his after narrowly avoiding death, thanks to a demonic looking bunny who leads him out of his bedroom, where a jet engine later lands. "The world will end in 28 days," tells Frank, the newly found friend in the costume who only Donnie can see.

Acting under the manipulation of the anti-Easter bunny, Donnie commits criminal acts, his sanity lessening, leading him to question time, space and the laws of physics in an attempt to understand what Frank meant before the countdown to apocalypse concludes.

Keep an eye out for Patrick Swayze, Drew Barrymore, and Maggie Gyllenhaal, onscreen and real-life sister to the protagonist.

Also it has one of the most catchiest songs that I've heard in a long time, thank you Echo and the Bunnymen.

Enter : Trailer

Richard Kelly's classic psychological-thriller, is only comparable in modest flickers nowadays, such as in Christopher Nolan's Inception, which is something that I personally deem to be a tragedy.

So if you would quite like to join the many others who have endured insomnia trying to piece together the puzzle that is Donnie Darko, I advise you sit in a dark room and spend the 1 hour 53 minutes in utter silence. If not, here's a rather amusing spoof-video attempting to explain everything in 60 seconds!

Rating:          Fantastico